Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
