3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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