Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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