I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
