Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
