I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
