Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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