I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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