O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
