suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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