I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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