I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just tell him i said nine months
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Randomize
