I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
