Will you blow on my dice?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
