I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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