Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
