With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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