Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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