so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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