why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
