i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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