I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
