he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
