Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
