we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
