it wasn't lemon gatorade
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
