i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
