So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't notice because vodka
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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