8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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