never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
