No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
