YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
