maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
