My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
