please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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