Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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