so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
