My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
