he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
