But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
