it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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