come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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