Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
