Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We don't watch enough power rangers
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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