I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
