So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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