Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
