Sponge bath it is.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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