they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
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