Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You ate ashes out of my bong
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
