That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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