I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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