oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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